Daughter wants to shut down parental insults
These two people are not likely to change substantially, although you may be able to retrain them.
The next time you are outright insulted, you say, "Mom and Dad, you've insulted me off and on my whole life, and I'm asking you to stop."
Expect them to be bewildered by this sudden change in you. Give them a few examples of what you will no longer tolerate. Tell them, calmly, "I am always kind to you. I expect the same. I'm letting you know that in the future, if you insult me, I'm going to get my coat and leave. Do you understand?"
And then -- let it lie. Give them an opportunity to behave differently. And always have your coat handy.
Stating your intentions, and then calmly following through, will liberate you from the grip of these putdowns.
Dear Amy: I'm separated from my husband right now and living with my family. I'm not really fond of this situation because the house is crowded.
My husband and I separated because it got to the point where we couldn't talk to each other respectfully.
So I left. We're working on ourselves now.
Since I've been back home, I've been thrown under the bus by my grandmother at church (I doubt she realized it), had remarks made about me and my husband and now I'm being accused of not making any effort to talk to anyone while I'm here. It's Hell.
This is making me miss my husband!
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