Mom wants husband to be more engaged with baby
Post a very simple "baby schedule" on your fridge and leave your husband with his son for longer than an hour. He can (and will) figure this out to some extent, but because he is away and working very hard, you will have to understand that he is already performing a very important parental function, which is to support his family.
Dear Amy: My fiance and I have been together for four years. We got engaged last fall and are planning a September wedding. We are both in our 30s and have put major thought into planning and saving for our special day.
We don't expect our parents to chip in. We are adults and will pay for our own wedding.
Suddenly, my stepbrother proposed to his girlfriend of three months. I have quite a few concerns. He's 30 and has been married twice before. She's only 21. They are deciding on a July wedding and my father and stepmother are rallying around this joyous occasion. They are cleaning up their farm for the wedding (they had already told us it wouldn't be ready for us).
My father is also paying for my stepbrother's various family members from other states to attend.
I'm having a tough time being genuinely happy for them when I feel that they are "stealing my thunder." I expressed these concerns. My father said they knew I would be upset, but there's nothing that they could've done about it.
Is it wrong to say I can't attend their showers, help with decorations or go to the actual event, due to my own plans? -- Trying Not to Be Bitter
Dear Trying: You are an adult, so act like one. Yes, you should attend your stepbrother's wedding. Pretend you are happy for him and his young bride -- even if you're not. If the farm is already cleaned up for your stepbrother's summer wedding, you might want to also use the venue in the fall.
Dear Amy: I'm weighing in on the impact of grandparents "playing favorites" with their grandchildren.
My kids all knew that their grandmother favored their cousins. It was completely obvious. As they grew older, they cared less and less -- and that's the worst part, in a way. Their grandmother is now older and needier and could use some attention. -- Sad but True
Dear Sad: Extreme favoritism hurts all parties.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)
