ArcaMax

I've cut them both out of my life for now until I have a better idea.

When I confronted them, they both denied what they had done and turned on me. I suppose they are two miserable people who deserve one another.

I was thinking about telling my friend's husband about what she had done, but I don't want to involve myself further. I do believe in Karma. I believe that what goes around comes around. What should I do now? -- Confused

Dear Confused: Your friend and your boyfriend violated an important boundary by communicating secretly.

Generally you should only pay close attention to critiques delivered personally -- not those things whispered behind your back. While you don't outline whatever horrible things these two might have said to each other about you, if there is anything embedded in this content that is important for you to know about yourself(for your own personal growth), I hope you will pay attention to it.

I agree with your choice not to independently reach out to your friend's husband, but if you are asked about the dissolution of this friendship, you should be honest. Otherwise, you need to focus on healing from this betrayal. Keep in mind that anything you communicate with them individually will likely be shared. I hope you have other friends who can support you through this. You should assume that your relationship with each of these people is permanently over.

Dear Amy: I was touched by the letter from "Pained Mother," who was very worried about her son's imminent move overseas.

Our family had the same experience. In our case my daughter, her husband and two grandchildren moved to Dubai for three years for a job opportunity.

It was difficult and, of course, we missed them terribly, but they had the experience of a lifetime traveling to exotic places, meeting people and gaining a wonderful understanding of other cultures.

I suggest that Pained Mother set up Skype calls with her family at regular times and make these interactions positive. She will soon see that her fears were not realized and be reassured they are doing well. -- Been There, Skyped About It

Dear Been There: One of the benefits of having a family member move overseas is that it can broaden the entire clan's perspective. Many people have written in with overseas experiences and all report that Skype calls can really help to bridge the distance and keep people connected.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)