ArcaMax

I was so excited because it was a new year and a good start for us. But he didn't even give that a chance and broke up with me.

He took a break from me a year and a half ago, but came back to me and said I was all he wanted.

I am devastated and I want him back. About a week ago he contacted me and we hung out. He said his feelings were still the same and that he didn't love me in the same way he used to, but he said it has been hard for him and he can't just drop our relationship. He says he wants to be friends with me.

He said he can't promise me that we have a chance in the future because he doesn't know what will happen and doesn't want to lead me on.

I don't really want to be his friend right now because I want him to miss me and find his way back to me. My gut feeling is that our relationship will work out but I'm scared.

Is there a good chance for us? Does he really not love me, or is he just lost? -- L

DEAR L: I've been through this (we all have, I guess). But I am telling you a tough truth: When someone breaks up with you repeatedly, then he will continue to break up with you.

Please -- he may not really know what he wants, but he is messing with you in the meantime.

Do NOT hang out with him. Do NOT let him do the "let's be friends" thing. You need to be strong and tell him, "When you figure out what you want, let me know. But I'm not interested in being your buddy."

You also need to think long and hard about how much you are letting him manipulate and yank you around. You're not there, yet. Please do not hand over all your power to him -- once it's gone, it's very hard to get it back.

DEAR AMY: I'd like to offer a practical suggestion for "Struggling Artist," who is trying to establish herself, post-college.

This artist should take a business course at her local community college. Freelancers need to realize that they are really setting up a business for themselves, and all the rules that apply to other entrepreneurs also apply to them. -- Been There

DEAR BEEN THERE: Excellent advice for artists, musicians and fellow writers -- or anyone in a creative field. I wish I had done this myself earlier in my career.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)