ArcaMax

I was shocked to receive an email from my brother shortly after specifying what food and liquor I "have" to bring, including a link to a recipe.

My parents received the same, but with a more extensive list. I don't mind bringing what I was assigned and would like to be supportive, but found the gesture to be tacky. How should I address this? -- I'll Bring the Cake

DEAR CAKE: Yep. This is pretty tacky. But here's how you should address it: "Brother, I'm happy for you. I'll do my best to make and bring the best cake I'm capable of making."

What I'm suggesting is that you respond with generosity and love to this wedding. If your brother and his new bride continue to be specific in their demands past this day -- or ungracious and ungrateful in responding to your efforts -- then you have my permission to tell them to step off.

DEAR AMY: The letter from "Destroyed" shook me to my very core.

Destroyed described a marriage with a man who manipulated her, uprooted and moved her away from her support system, isolated her from her profession, friends and family members and belittled her until she felt worthless and confused.

This is exactly what happened in my marriage. I firmly believe that if I hadn't escaped it, I wouldn't be here now. I am genuinely afraid for Destroyed and her children and I hope that rather than follow your advice and try to rebuild her life within this marriage, she should leave the marriage now. -- Survivor

DEAR SURVIVOR: Many readers offered supportive advice similar to yours. While I did advise this woman to try to change her own life (ultimately leaving the marriage, if necessary), I agree that it might not be possible. I hope she sees these supportive comments and follows your advice.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)