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Mom wonders why young son finds friends annoying

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I was shocked. I've always thought telling a child that he was the favorite (let alone declaring to love him more that his brother) should never be done.

I'm considering talking to my brother, but my wife says it's none of my business and it will create a rift. What do you think? -- Disturbed

DEAR DISTURBED: What you have witnessed is garden-variety poor parenting -- not only the favoritism, but also rewarding a child's bad behavior by promising him two of something when he is being uncooperative.

But -- guess what -- parents do all sorts of things in the moment that they shouldn't do. Taking this to your brother is not a great idea -- he wasn't there when this happened, and what would you expect him to say or do?

Instead, you should ask your sister-in-law about it. Don't attack her, but say, "When you told the one brother that you loved him more than the other -- is that a good idea? If my mom had said that to me when I was a kid, it would have been really confusing." She might tell you that this is an inside joke she plays with both boys. But you will have prompted her to think about it.

DEAR AMY: "Heartbroken" detailed a disturbing situation with a relative who had the habit of adopting kittens and then surrendering them.

 

She should be placed on a "do not adopt list" at shelters. -- Concerned

DEAR CONCERNED: I think it's possible she is "shelter hopping." I agree with your concern.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)


 

 

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