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Tardy Thank-You Notes

Annie Lane on

Dear Annie: My daughter received some lovely gifts for her quinceanera (an important milestone in Mexican and Latin American cultures that celebrates a girl's 15th birthday). Unfortunately, there were a few without cards or tags. I am not sure if the card became accidentally separated from the gift, or if there was no card or tag in the first place.

My daughter is writing thank you cards to everyone who helped put this event together or gave her a gift. I hate to think about just a few people going unthanked -- but we don't know who gave the gifts. Any ideas other than asking those in attendance who we didn't get a gift from (for sure) if they gave it? -- Unsure Parent

Dear Unsure: Congratulations on your daughter's quinceanera, and kudos for making sure every gift-giver gets a thank you! One option is to reach out casually to close friends and family members and ask if anyone has insight as to who bought your daughter what gift. (Make sure you only ask those whose gifts are already accounted for.) You could also make a social media post or a group message with a photo of the gift(s) and a heartfelt message like: "My daughter received this beautiful gift for her quinceanera, but it's missing a tag! If this gift is from you, please reach out so that she can properly thank you." If anything, going to such great lengths to thank the gift-giver will make the "thank you" even more special.

Dear Annie: My high school sweetheart and husband of 30-plus years passed away suddenly from COVID at the beginning of the pandemic. He was 57 years old, athletic and died within two weeks of testing positive. It was a huge shock to our three teenage/young adult children. Hundreds of friends and family attended his wake and funeral, and a memorial scholarship fund raised over $50,000.

I purchased personalized thank you cards but haven't sent them out. His passing will be two years this spring. Is it too late to send out the cards? Should I write anything additional to explain the delay? -- Still Heartbroken

 

Dear Still Heartbroken: I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a partner is always difficult, but especially so suddenly and during the pandemic must have been even more devastating. It is beautiful to read just how many people and lives your husband touched -- he was clearly a very special person.

In the wake of such a significant loss, it's completely valid to feel overwhelmed, but it's never too late to convey your appreciation and gratitude to your loved ones for their support. Perhaps include a small acknowledgement of the delay or a thank you for their patience in your note. I am sure they will be more than understanding about why it took so long.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.


 

 

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