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Boyfriend's social surveillance spells trouble

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I have been dating my boyfriend "William" for 2.5 years. We are both divorced with children. William's ex-wife had a horrible two-year affair that hurt him deeply. Knowing this, I have always tried to assure him that he is the only man in my life and I make sure to go above and beyond to reassure him that I am thinking about him whenever we are apart.

However, in the past six months, William has become extremely jealous of my very dear gay friend of many years "Kevin" (who also happens to be an important client of mine).

It started out with snide comments and then recently escalated to him accusing me of having an "inappropriate intimate relationship" with Kevin. He says Kevin is a bad influence, he is inappropriate and most recently, he feels like I am having an emotional affair.

I have made it very clear that we are just friends -- exactly like all of my female friends -- but William refuses to accept this.

William has gone so far as to create secret social media accounts to monitor my daily activity. He also monitors Kevin's. It became somewhat of an obsession. He has been checking several times a day and screen captures anything he deems inappropriate with ANY of my friends, but is focused specifically on Kevin.

This volatile situation had been building over the past six months. We have been arguing a lot without my full understanding as to what was going on behind the scenes. I have been unjustly accused of many completely fabricated scenarios.

 

Apparently I spent too long in the ladies room at a restaurant several months ago, and now I'm being accused of conspiring with Kevin to get together without William knowing.

One Friday night I fell asleep and didn't text William to say goodnight. This caused a week-long argument. William would not take my calls, cancelled our plans for the weekend and refused to believe that I didn't sneak away to New York to see my friend.

I also have a female friend who William has decided is "undermining" our relationship and frowns on me seeing her as well.

This man is wonderful in so many ways, but I can't seem to fix my relationship and keep my friends in the process!

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