Life Advice

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Health

My partner and I have a baby boy and live together. We are nearly 40

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My partner and I have a baby boy and live together. We are nearly 40. We sold our homes during the housing crash of '08 and got burned. After our son was born, we bought a home together. We've become extremely frugal in order to save more for our retirements and the baby's college tuition.

We are diligently saving and cut corners. We both work very hard.

His sweet, loving, gay brother (age 33) lives nearby. The brother's job is physical and depends on him being in good physical shape.

He's strong, but his health is deteriorating due to overeating and joint problems. He's a very hard worker, though, and has a good heart.

Recently, he lost his only car to an accident. He has zero savings and many maxed-out credit cards.

He told me his household expenses are $1,500 a month, just for food and living expenses. I was floored! We're a family of three and our living-related bills are less than $1,000 a month.

 

I would like to have an intervention with him about his finances or ask my boyfriend to talk with him privately about cutting his expenses so he can eventually buy a house.

We want to see him become stable and learn to care about his future self more than his present self.

He's also very overweight and unattractive, and he has unattainable standards for a partner. He won't be able to marry into wealth.

I'm worried that he will end up homeless, and I feel that we have a responsibility to warn him of the consequences of living beyond his means.

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