College-bound girl worries about pledge to parents
Dear Amy: I am about to graduate from high school. I am very happy with my college choice and I am majoring in STEM, so I am looking forward to being part of the growing group of young females in the scientific world; however, I have concerns about the social changes in college.
I have always been a good girl who stayed away from boys in high school to focus on academics. As a result, I have never had a boyfriend, or even my first kiss. I have heard countless stories about college hook-ups, relationships, etc., and I am nervous about this aspect of college. I know college can be a time to "explore your sexuality," but I am conflicted about this.
I am not completely against it if you find the right person, but I always thought being sexually active at such a young age was ridiculous. I know there are many risks (STDs, sexual assault, pregnancy), but with the culture of my generation, sex is something that seems to be advocated by the media, peer pressure and the overall college setting.
I am blessed to have amazing parents, and I know they will worry about me in college, so I have told my mom I won't have sex until marriage.
I do have my personal curiosities about sex, however, and I now believe in premarital sex.
Is this the wrong decision? Am I too young to have sex in college, even if I find the right guy? I feel so conflicted with the pros and cons that I just can't make up my mind. I am also worried about how I will be treated in college if I refuse to be sexually active with anyone.
Do you have any advice? -- College Bound with Concerns
Dear College Bound: Like the smart and thoughtful young woman you are, you are throwing all of your smarts toward a solution that doesn't even have a problem attached to it (yet).
Approach your sexual choices the way you might approach a technical question: one step at a time.
Many people do go a little crazy in college. But a high percentage of college students do not. Alcohol use is a risk factor in terms of your sexual choices. If you choose to stay away from alcohol and also hang out with sober students, your sexual choices will be intentional and your risk of STDs, assault, and unintended pregnancy decrease.
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