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Should couples split the check for birth control?

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am in a long-term relationship, and my partner and I are beginning to discuss birth control options (in particular, the pill). Should I ask my partner to help me pay for birth control?

I feel it should be our combined responsibility, as it benefits us both. But how do I handle the situation if he should refuse to split the cost with me?

I've received many different perspectives on this issue, and would like to hear yours. Thank you so much. -- Conflicted

Dear Conflicted: Your partner should share in your birth control decisions, and he should also share in the cost. Regardless of who pays for it, birth control (like birth) ultimately confers a disproportionate burden on a woman -- you have to remember to use birth control and you also tolerate the physical side effects of whatever method you use. Your partner should do his best to share this responsibility, out of respect to you and the mutual choice you are making not to get pregnant.

If you were not in a committed and exclusive relationship (i.e. if you had multiple partners), then you would take sole responsibility for your birth control choices (as well as the cost).

Acting like true partners regarding this very intimate and important question can enhance your overall relationship. If your guy refuses to share the cost with you, then you should probably find another guy.

 

Dear Amy: My best friend and I have been together for a very long time.

I recently found out that she and my boyfriend were communicating behind my back. Both of them said horrible things about me.

My boyfriend's email account was open one day, and I happened to see these awful exchanges. My friend and my boyfriend talk on the phone and text back and forth. I'm all for friends of mine getting to know my boyfriends, but this went beyond those boundaries.

My girlfriend and I have been friends since long before either of us knew him, so I'm dumbfounded as to what to do.

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