What are the maid and gardener doing in the family cabin?
DEAR AMY: I have an interesting ethical -- or perhaps a moral -- dilemma.
We spend significant time at a cabin we own and our longtime gardener and maid have keys to our home. The gardener also has keys to our cars.
When my wife and I returned to the cabin recently, I found two containers of a sexual lubricant on the kitchen counter. My assumption is that one of them used our home for a tryst and forgot to remove this evidence. The gardener and maid are both married. The bottles remain in plain sight on the kitchen counter and neither has claimed them or mentioned them.
I am reluctant to ask either of them because it might point to the other as being unfaithful and would expose them as having used our home for non-work-related purposes.
They do know each other slightly. Either could lie if I ask. Basically, because of my suspicion I am going to worry about their trustworthiness until I resolve whose it is and how it got into our home.
We have grown, unmarried kids. They have their own homes. I asked our son if these items belonged to him and he chuckled and said no. Now he knows (by deduction) that I suspect hanky-panky from one of the employees. My wife wants me to drop it.
What do you think I should do? -- Concerned Homeowner
DEAR CONCERNED: In addition to your "Downton"-esque theory that either the maid or the gardener is getting it on in your cabin, there are many other possibilities, including the idea that either of them (or both) is using your cabin for trysts with their own spouse -- or with each other. Or their cousins, kids, neighbors or anyone else now has access to the keys and is using your cabin -- and, possibly, your car.
Remove the sexual, moral, ethical component from this and you are left with evidence that you have a security breach. You and your wife should point this out to each of your employees (separately and privately), ask them if they know anything about it, and expect them to answer in the negative.
I suggest you review whether you keep any valuables in the cabin, investigate installing a security system, double-check your insurance coverage and -- possibly -- install a camera you can monitor remotely.
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