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Man offers one story, Facebook reveals another

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

DEAR AMY: I have recently become involved with a new guy, and we clicked immediately. I've had a great time getting to know him and meeting his close friends. It's been nice and flowing smoothly.

But, of course, there's a catch.

His Facebook profile still says he's in a relationship with another girl, whom he has been with for almost eight years. His profile picture even has her in it! I asked him about it on our first date, he declared he "didn't care about Facebook" and that he and this girl hadn't spoken in three weeks (doesn't seem like an extraordinarily long amount of time). He explained they had been on/off for two years, and it just isn't working for them anymore.

If they aren't really together, why is she still a part of his Facebook? Am I wrong to be wary of this? Why hasn't she removed their relationship from FB, if they are actually over?

I feel by not changing his status he's leaving room for the possibility of their relationship rekindling.

This is a new dating issue specific to my generation. It's been hard for me to detach myself from the situation and view it from an outside perspective. What should I take seriously from his social media, and what doesn't matter? I don't want to fall head over heels for this guy, then have his ex come back out of the woodwork and have my heart broken. -- Generation Facebook

 

DEAR GENERATION FACEBOOK: Some issues are generational, and some are (more or less) eternal. A person in a long-term relationship who starts testing the waters before actually ending said relationship, for instance. That's one for the ages.

There are many negatives about Facebook, but one positive aspect of social media is that you can see -- very easily -- where people stand.

Do not let this person gaslight you into thinking that this issue isn't important. You can say to him, "Well, your Facebook status might not be important to you, but it's important to me. I'm not interested in dating you if you're in another relationship. Let me know if you become available."

DEAR AMY: My brother and his fiancee have decided to tie the knot next week in a courthouse ceremony. They extended an invite to a potluck reception at their home, with various registries listed.

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