Disturbing News for Your Boss
For anyone doubtful about whether any law could rein in your power-mad manager, here are a few of the ways a boss could still make your life miserable outside as well as inside your workday.
No. 1: Beware the drop-in.
Your boss can't reach out, but they could drop in. Be prepared with snacks and activities in case the drop-in turns into a sleepover. After a night of face painting and cupcake decorating, your boss and you will have taken your working relationship to a new level. (Try to avoid pillow fights. It could get ugly.)
No. 2: Sorry, wrong number!
The law will not look kindly on a manager who explains late-night phone calls as accidental butt dials. To short-circuit the wrong-number gambit, use a business name for after-hours calls. Answering "Sam's Deluxe Roto-Rooter" will confuse your boss and could lead to a much better career opportunity than possible in your current position.
No. 3: It's an emergency if I say it's an emergency.
The California law provides an exception for emergencies but not a definition. A 30% drop in sales may be an emergency to your boss. To you, it's a reason to take extra vacation. If you hear real panic in your boss's voice, it shouldn't be difficult to redirect their line of thought. "You want to know a true emergency?" you can say. "Finding a bloodthirsty ghoul in your kitchen is an emergency." Follow this up with a series of shouts and cries before crashing heavily to floor with a feeble gasp of "help... help... it's too late."
Your boss won't know how to respond, so after a few moments of heavy breathing, say, "Let's discuss it in the morning at work," and hang up. The next day, feel free to come in late. Your boss will be so happy to see that you are alive and well that they won't say a word.
(And if they do, call me day or night. I'm always here for you, unless, of course, I'm fighting off a bloodthirsty ghoul.)
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Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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